I went on this trip to help others...
I went on this trip because I wanted to make an impact on others through God.
And he did make an impact... he really did. But he didn’t only help them, he helped me.
Even though I didn’t feel it or see it at the time....
I questioned if I was even making a difference, I even questioned God.
I questioned the things that I KNEW about him, and started to think with my feelings instead.
But God is more than a feeling, and I know that.
This week I heard a women say that
“when you try and work against the darkness of the world the darknesse pushes back.”
This week was so hard for me and I struggled silently. I was battling both emotionally and physically. I still have a lot of physical struggles from the car accident so I didn’t tell anyone about the accident for a while, I didn’t want to be treated differently.
I wanted to rely on Gods strength over my own, and I did.
If you would have told me I’d be capable of doing as much as I did this week I would nooottt have believed you, because I truly am not capable.
But there was more to it than just me. And emotionally I was even worse off.
I was falling apart.
I didn’t know how I could share about the goodness of God in a week where I was struggling severely with my mental health.
& I didn’t know why I still struggled if I knew so much about the goodness of God.
But having joy in the lord does not mean to always be joyful.
And I knew that...
but it doesn’t make it less hard.
This world is full of highs and lows. We are flawed humans, in a flawed world, So I shouldn’t have expected any different.
And deep down I knew that too.
THERE IS A SPIRITUAL BATTLE & IT IS REAL!!!!
But the good news is... in the end, God wins.