Updated: Sep 10, 2019
I’m walking on my own from now on.
This weekend I made a huge decision. Yes, decision. no I was not faking because I was still using a crutch, yes I did decide to start walking on my own.
All of that might sound confusing to you, and truth is, it is confusing.
After the accident I needed a wheelchair, then I needed crutches, and then finally I worked my way down to one crutch. I moved from the other steps pretty fast so when I stayed at one crutch, people started to raise questions and make assumptions.
Truth is there is a lot you don’t know. You don’t know the pain my leg feels on a day to day basis and how putting all of my body weight on it makes it worse. You don’t know about my insecurities in the way I waddle. You don’t know that I work out all of the time trying to regain all of the muscle that I lost.
You don’t know that I hear others telling people I’m faking, or that I’m “doing this all for attention.”
I was never faking. I didn’t even know if I was healing until a week ago. My surgeon told me to use it when I go back to school and then try to go without it, & I’ve been at school for a little over a week now, so I’m ready to give it up.
This weekend for the first time I went out in public without it and it was the worst feeling and the best feeling.
I can’t stop dancing around. (Literally I’m so happy that I’ve just been dancing)
I’m terrified because it feels so unusual but I also just feel so free.
I am getting back to normal.
I feel like my crutch was keeping me tied to the car accident. I feel like it was the only thing holding me back and I didn’t even know it.
I’m starting to feel more like me.